realisation

okay, so i just weighed myself on my accurate digital scales, and it appears that my crappy scales at home gave me false hope - i am 113lb, not 112lb.
but, the fact that i was so annoyed by this, gave me a bit of a shock. i am probably in a bit of denial about my eating habits. i have always had a bit of a guilty conscience about eating food that is bad for you, and have often been through phases of healthier eating. but it's gotten worse over the past year - i realised that about this time last year i joined a website where you can track your daily calorie intake and weight loss. according to my chart, it is clear that i have gone through phases of weight loss and calorie tracking, and then couldn't be bothered anymore, gained a couple of pounds and then repeated the process.

it seems to get worse each time, and this time definitely. it calculated that for me to lose 1.5 pounds a week with a sedentary lifestyle, i can afford to eat about 900 calories a day - but i hate it when the little bar creeps anywhere near the red line, so i eat much less, or try and burn it off it i eat more.

 i need to start working out how much i need to eat to stay the weight that i am. but i think i'll lose a couple more pounds first - just to that if i do fluctuate, hopefully i will remain 110 - 112. i wish i could just lose weight off my thighs :( there's a little bit of flab just at the top of the inside of my legs, i hate it. i like the way my tummy looks at the mo though :)