it was all i could do not to take them all. its all i could do not to run upstairs and jam my razor as deep into my wrists as it could go, drag it down my arm and drag me down with it.
she hates seeing me like this, so i told her that i was planning on losing weight. 10 pounds or so. i think she would rather that than me killing myself.
BANNED FOOD
- Chocolate (although i havent eaten that for months and dont have a problem avoiding it, it disgusts me)
- Bread
- Cakes
- Cereal that isn't mine
- Biscuits
- Crisps
- Cookies
- Doughnuts
- Cheese
- Butter/spread
- Pastries
- Flapjack
- Full fat milk
- Jam
do not eat alone
do not buy food alone
do not eat food that isn't mine
do not eat food unless sitting down
do not eat food unless off a plate
do not eat food mindlessly
do not eat.
I have a list of food like that too. i find it helpful to let myself have one thing when im more in control every now and then, even if it is all i eat that day, so i dont think i can never have it and consequently eat it all the time. for example: the lebkuchen stars: when i have done a few more good days of this, then i'll have a day where all i eat are the little pack of stars so i dont feel like im craving them. maybe give it a thought? i know its a lot harder living with parents to try and do this tho as temptations surrounds more of the time.
ReplyDeletelove you, hope you are feeling a little stronger today, i love you you can do this xx