so, it's Wednesday and the scales said 108.5 which I'm pretty happy about after that fatty weekend. still a bit worried that I'm gonna wake up and will have gained the exact amount of weight of the food i ate (i know that's not going to happen but I'm still expecting to balloon sometime soon!)
yesterday was good :) slept in again, so all i ate was a small portion of my mum's homemade risotto. she makes it with stock instead of cream because she knows i don't like creamy sauces, and she gave me a small portion without even asking. i suppose she thought i still might be feeling a bit sick from the weekend. so yeah, that would have been pretty low fat i think (maybe she used a bit of flora), so I'm not too worried about that.
what i am worried about is whats sitting in the cupboard 2 feet away from me. me and my mum went food shopping yesterday, and i pointed out how nice the maple pecan plaits looked, and that they were on offer (i like to go round pointing out the really "naughty" things then walk away from them!) she offered to get them, but i said no. but then she was talking about getting chocolate eclairs instead, so i panicked and asked for the pecan plaits instead, the thought of all that cream, uurrgh. which was probably a big mistake, seeing as pastry is packed with fat!! and the eclairs had 150 cals each, while the plaits have about 380 (!!!!!!) according to this online calorie counter. the eclairs have 26% of your satfat, but so does about half a pecan plait. I'm such an idiot!
and i have my birthday party in a couple of weeks, and my birthday the week after, so there's going to be a tonne of food then. uurggh. I'm tempted to throw away my plait and made it look like i ate it, but i would feel bad :( i may cut it into three bits and spread it out over the week - hopefully no one will notice!
i literally just sat and looked at them for about ten minutes. i was tempted to open it, cut it into tiny pieces, put them in a lunch box and hide them in my room. but as i went to, i caught a whiff of them and they smelt amazing, i could almost taste them! so i don't trust myself to open them while there is nobody else around!
aarghh, help! i shall have to make sure that my mum and boyfriend eat one each tonight, so that there is less temptation for me!!
Coffee and smokes and cold Diet Cokes are what pretty girls are made of. x. Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you will land among the stars.
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i think that since you've portioned it out it'll be ok! stay strong! i totally binged today and feel like crying. but i'm going to fast from today onward, at least until next tuesday (last day of school)
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