eww my god

there is a fat girl inside me, that i don't ever want to release again, because she is ugly and i hate her.

soo, i was really pleased with how little i was eating when i was drinking - i didn't even want to because the drink filled me up.
but then we made weed brownies. i have never been so high in my life, we probably had about 4 times more than we actually needed to get high - so we were super high ... for about 24 hours. i think each of us at some point thought we were going to pass out and never wake up.

unfortunately, we had a smoke while waiting for the brownies to cook, so i had the munchies by the time they were ready. we were gonna have a teeney bit then see how strong they were, but i ate mine in one go. woops. i felt sick enough already but then just carried on eating nuts and popcorn. i could feel myself being about to be sick, but fatty just carried on going.

then the next day i was still pretty high, so ate a load then. it wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for the chips, sweets, nutella and peanut butter. uuurgh.

so today i was gonna try and fast, or cup a soup at the most. it was going well as i slept in till 5 (and still feel like crap). and i was just going to have a bit of salad, but then miss fatty decided that (even though she still felt disgustingly sick) that she wanted nutella and peanut butter. fat pig!! i thought i had put her back in her box, but she's stronger than i thought, especially in my sleep-deprived-probably-still-not-sober state.

urrghhh, i hate myself right now. will try and fast tomorrow. fatty will be locked away.

on the plus side i weighed myself this morning on the non digital scales, with pyjamas on (and horribly bloated) and it was under 112. i wonder how long the fat i eat takes to sick to my belly. i hope that number doesn't go up, or i will cry all day.