cake dilemma!

in times gone by i have been satisfied by just having a smell of the thing i was craving. i thought that would be okay today with my birthday cake, but no, i wanted a bit. so i cut myself the smallest slither (which was pretty hard seeing how big it is!) and pigged out on that. but i reckon it was only about 50 calories - couldn't have been more than a biscuit.

but then i wanted more, so i got the rest of a slice and stuffed it in my mouth. it felt so good, but i felt so guilty. i think i swallowed another mouthful, then remembered how well chewing and spitting out worked, so i did that with the rest. sure, it doesn't look very nice, but if you hide it in a tissue and flush it away immediately, its fine :) i felt so proud of myself haha! i got the yumminess of the cake, without the calories. however, I'm annoyed because i don't know how much i did swallow. it wasn't that much, but I'm going to say 100-150 calories, just in case.

i don't feel that bad about it actually :) annoyed because i should have just saved it for my birthday (i can't let my "excuse" stretch out any more - I've already pigged out on 2 days in honour of my birthday!) but i spent 10 minutes doing step ups on the bottom of the stairs, so that's got to have burned a bit. doesn't seem like much but its the most I've done lately! will do some crunches with my rowing band later. and the rest of my intake was guuuurd :) bit of melon, about 60ml skimmed milk, salad, 1.5 frankfurters, a bit of polenta and reduced salt and sugar ketchup. so that's about 350 - minus the cake :) not sure if it's because I'm still slightly pretending to be ill, but my mum seems to have accepted i'm eating "healthier" so doesn't question that i have polenta when they have chips, and didn't bat an eyelid when i said i didn't want my hot dogs in a roll. yay :)

also - happy birthday Courtney :) hope you have a great day and enjoy giving yourself some freedom with your restaurant dinner :) <3