biggest.cake.ever!

earlier today i helped my mum bake and decorate my birthday cake. massive is not the word for it! she asked me to make an A4 template for the icing decoration because that was roughly how big the cake tin was. i thought that was pretty big, but there's a lot of people for it to feed, so okay! she borrowed the tin from work (she's a chef in a school) and oooomg. huuuge! okay, A4 sized, but i thought it was going to be about a couple of inches deep - well they are, but there are two! so it's about 6 inches high. with TEN eggs in and about THREE blocks of butter. weight watchers jam (ha!) in the middle and fondant icing on top. and a design of noddy :) the theme is children's TV characters - he was my fave :)

ooooh my, that's a big cake!

i am making sure that theres none left over after the party. keeping with the kids theme, if there's any leftover cake, everyone can be sent home with a party bag and a slice :)

that will definitely help me increase my calories! but theres no way i am not going to restrict for a few days after my party, there is going to be sooo much food and i will feel so guilty - my grans cooking is amazing and so hard to resist. (lol i sound so cool having my gran cook the food for my party - but my gran is pretty darn cool herself :) and acts a lot younger than her age. they have a massive farm house so and garden so just provide us with a place to party, food and drinks and leave us alone - have done since we were 15, so all my friends adore her)

in anticipation of this weekend, i've been eating really well - probably too well as i need to maintain, but i can do that after my binge fest. i even had a sandwich with 2 slices of bread, no butter though. but i did have about 10g cheese. was good :) i think i've over estimated amounts and stuff, and my overall intake was still 860.

getting better.

emotionally - today was okay. no real ups or downs, just a whole load of middle. i did feel a bit guilty earlier because i was relieved that my boyfriend wasn't coming in tonight. i was grateful for a break from playing happy - its tiring. but tomorrow will be okay - were going out drinking for a friends leaving do, so after a couple of drinks happy will come easy (ha- alcoholic? :P)

thank you guys for your comments, and for your blogs, they brighten up my day :)
i am still deciding whether to upload a picture of myself - i keep on changing my mind if i feel good or bad about the way i look at the moment. maybe i will tomorrow :)