I am so tired. I am sat here in the bath, trying to burn the aches out of my bones. I have had to make a cushion out of a flannel because it hurts too much for my tailbone to be on the hard surface. My shoulders are hurting too now. I just want to sleep here all day.
I cannot do my work. I have very important exams in a week, and reports to write and essays to do, and I have done nothing. I have tried but.each time I sit down to work, its like my body shuts down even more, and my brain goes from half power to hibernate.
It's hard to explain. It's not like the usual i've been revising for hours, I can't do this anymore' because I know all too well what that feels like. My gran said that.she thought sometimes I worked so hard that my brain would explode. But this isn't brain overload- more like underload. It just won't work.
And the scary thing is- I don't care at the moment. I just want to stay at home and sleep. I can't face going back to uni, even if its to sort out me leaving. I think I have.given up.
So pathetic, weak, stupid.

and I know that I haven't been trying hard enough to get better - at the moment I just really dont want to eat more, even though I know I need too. The two voices in my head are arguing again. I think I know which one will win this time. Maybe the ringing in my ears that has been getting louder and louder will still be able to drown out the voices.