Why don't I go tell me why do I stay when I know there's nothing I should want here?
73 pounds or something ridiculous i think. maybe 74. one pound doesn't make a difference at this weight. my therapist was talking of heart attacks, organ failure, general hospital, tube feeding. death.
yet the thought of eating more still scares me more.
messed.up.
i can barely walk up the stairs.
why, how have i done this to myself?
stupid
selfish
pathetic
weak
worthless
Oh dear :( I wish I could find the words to help you darling. You're in my thoughts, be safe. I know it won't matter if I ask you, but please do try and eat more. Think of all the little things you'll be missing should this illness take you, with every bite picture another sunset, another sunrise, having the strength to run and jump and shout. Every bite is towards another evening in the summer, another smile and another happy day.
ReplyDeleteI hope I can help, at least a little. I care about you
xoxo