fuck

or maybe not. my sex drive is gone. completely; not a spark.

i tried, but i felt bored, then it just hurt, then i cried. luckily he didn't notice. and it's not his fault. it's all me.

numb ...

and i had a diet irn bru earlier that has given me massive cravings and headaches. you can taste the sweetener shit in it. diet coke doesn't do this to me, why didn't i just stick to good old diet coke? that stuff never lets me down.

not happy.

fuuuuuuuck.

If only there was a degree in procrastination...

–verb (used without object)

1.

to defer action; delay: to procrastinate until an opportunity is lost.

Surely me writing this is another signal to myself that I should get on with my work, but no, I seem to be an expert in discovering absolutely anything to do - other than what I should be doing. 

For example, today, instead of getting on with a report and seminar preparation, I have :

• Spent an unhealthy amount of time on Facebook (no changes there. Despite me being consciously aware of how completely un-stimulating it is, I can not help but scroll down the endless list of random snippets of the lives of people I hardly know.)
• Made countless adventures to the kitchen to make green tea (because I have "nothing else to do")
• Found a website that streams all episodes of Desperate Housewives (because you can never watch too much of that)
• Stared out of my window at by passers.
• Played with Blu-tac.
• Scrolled through a large amount of embarrassingly drunken photos of myself and my friends (mainly ones of myself, as my friends are lovely enough to document every cringe-worthy moment, while I live by the philosophy that a camera is not your friend on a night out, and why would you want to spend time with someone that doesn't like you?)
• And countless other "productive" activities.

Tooooo be fair, I am in a lull; having finished my last exam of this term on Monday, and having the rest of the week "off" while everyone else finishes their exams, I feel like I do not need to work. But I know I should, and I am sure that I will regret even writing this post when I am rushing to finish my assignment at 3am the night before it is due in. Fuuuuun.

On another note: Harry Potter themed night at Club Oceana tomorrow, YUSSSSS!!