Change.

This is one thing that I can safely say I fear, hate and aviod.
Sure, sure; i'm up for trying new things- how can life be fun without a little experimentation, a little adaptation and unknown?And if these new things turn out to be a good thing; something that can be experienced by all those who matter in my life collectively, then change in this aspect is bearable. I can accept, cherish sometimes, when something changes, and everything or everyone that matters changes with it.

But when one idividual thing changes and everything else stays the same; that's when I start to panic.

She used to be so fun. There was never a dull moment when she was around. Everyone wanted to be her (or to be with her). I envied her for her beauty, her wit, her sharp mind. And most of all i envied her for how strong she was. Nothing bothered her; anything that could easily damage the confidence of a lesser being such as myself promptly bounced off her. She had no worries about guys - everyone wanted her, so she could deal with wanting no one.

I suppose love affects people in different ways, but I have never thought that it could replace a whole person (even if it is love- how can she tell from never have being in a relationship before? I know all too well myself how you can be decieved by "love". Especially the first time.) I don't know how, I just know that my best friend has changed - she has been replaced.

He is like a disease on her mind, all consuming, rotting her personality. 5 months seems a pretty short time to decide that you will dedicate your life and soul to one person. She doesn't socialise any more - talking to him on Skype is far more important. I know more people in her flat than she does. She's immobilised when away from him - she was physically homesick from him after two days.

Perhaps I am being too harsh, too judgemental. But I don't like the person that she has become in to; and it appears that that person doesn't like me either. Perhaps it is my fault, but she hasn't spoken to me in over a week- nearly two, because I got way too drunk and forgot to text her when I was going to the Student Union (which is on campus and a 30 second walk from her flat.)

I feel guilty now, I have tried to help her, but she sees no sense. She is always in a bad mood because she spends too much time alone thinking about how much she misses him. She told me that she feels better when she is around other people so that they can distract her. Seems like a simple solution really, but no. It appears that she relies on me to go out with because she has no other friends, but she can't go out anyway because she has no money, despite living in the cheapest accomadation possible. She has no money because she spends it on going home almost every weekend, and buying him a car for him to come up the weekends she doesn't go down ... incase it snows and he can't use the motorbike. And buying him an array of other expensivve christmas presents.

Oh, and she's saving up for a tattoo. One dedicated to him. On her wrist. And she wants to become a doctor. That is, if she doesn't quit so that she can go live off benifits with him.

I don't like change, especially when it steals people from me. Or am I being too harsh? I suppose everyone has to go crazy in love at some point. I just hope she realises before it becomes too late and she ruins her life.